Tuesday, 19 November 2013

Gender Inequality

Definition of Domestic Violence - Aggressive or violent behaviour within a home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner. 


When you think of domestic violence, what comes to your mind? Do you picture a guy abusing the girl or the other way around?

In society, gender inequality is visible in all areas. Both men and women receive all kinds of messages that men are much better than women. In this context, it becomes easier for a man to believe he has complete control over the women and take charge, even if it requires them to be violent. But we are not just talking about women being violently abuse by men. Men are just as likely to be victims too. For too long, domestic violence has been known to exclusively be an issue to women. While most attention is given to women who are abused by men, men are often overlooked victims of domestic violence. It is claimed that men are often treated as "second-class victims" and that many police forces do not take them seriously. "Male victims are almost invisible to the authorities such as the police, who rarely can be prevailed upon to take the man's side," said John Mays of Parity.

Traditionally, a "real man" is known to be able to "control" his partner. Aside from the embarrassment over admitting abuse, abused men may feel that they are somehow less of a man and weak for "allowing" themselves to be abused. Mark Brooks of the Mankind Initiative, a helpline for victims, said: "It's a scandal that in 2010 all domestic violence victims are still not being treated equally. We reject the gendered analysis that so many in the domestic violence establishment still pursue, that the primary focus should be female victims. Each victim should be seen as an individual and helped accordingly."

The following video explains what I am trying to explain: 


Yes, this video may be over dramatic but I believe this shows how society looks at the situation. When men gets hit by women, it's completely fine but when men hits the women, it appears to be unfair and an act of abuse. 

Questions to Consider:
  • Why do we laugh at men when they get abused/raped but when the role is reversed, it's a big deal?
  • Is society at fault here?
  • To all the guys, what would you do if you were physically abuse by a women? Would you report it? Please explain.  

17 comments:

  1. Well, it is evident that men have proven to be the ones abusing women in the past, and that's probably why it's the dominant discourse of today's society. Men have been seen as "manly" and "powerful" because of their distinct dominance in society, (rulers, leaders, etc) and that is the reason why it's embarrassing to see men being abused - that their power is merely being tossed around by one who isn't as "powerful". I would like to think society is indeed at fault here, as media back then and even now, have proved how society is shaped around the dominant discourse of abuse.

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    1. Thank you Kent. I see that society has a great impact on us and they should know that there are women that are much stronger than men. Society can't expect every guy to be "manly" and protect themselves from harms way. All in all, I completely agree with everything you said

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  2. To connect with what Kent said, the dominant discourse in our society, is that "manly" men or "real" men are strong and powerful. I think that we laugh because it seems really outrageous that someone of the "weaker" sex can actually harm these "manly" men. We see women as weaker and therefore think that we aren't strong enough to make an impact or seriously harm men.

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    1. Thank you Chelsey. Yes, I agree. It's really unfair to all the men who can't defend themselves. As I said to Kent, society should know that many women are stronger than men. But we seem to overlook it.

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  3. I agree that because many men who are abused by women tend to feel embarassed, they decide not be open about their feelings or experiences to others. What they don't realize is that there are other men all around the world who are in their situation and need the support of other victims to give them encouragement and confidence to be able to tell someone about their abuse and at some point take action.

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    1. Thank you Kristina. I completely agree with you. If only society would stop telling us how we should act. Men would be taken more seriously and they would have more confidence if they weren't being called "weak" for showing a different side of what society want men to be

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  4. Firstly, I want to start by answering the first question. The media has embedded into the minds of its viewers that man are strong and powerful. In other words, when men get abused, in this case they get hurt and suck it up. Similarly, if it were to happen to a female it will be the end of the world. The dominant discourse has portrayed females as weak and powerless individuals. Media is to blame for that when guys get abused its funny. Secondly, I want to address the second point. We all in general consume a lot of media and it's safe to say that we are reshaped. Every single piece of medium if it were to be deconstructed and carefully examined, it will tell its viewers that men are strong and females are weak. Medium provides a specific lens when men get abused. I constantly see through media literacy men being laughed at when abused. The media is trying to send a message that men are strong enough to endure the pain while females are so weak that they will suffer for the rest of their life.

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    1. Also, some men that are abused are scared to come out because they are scared that they will get embarrassed. Men are strong and if they come out they get considered that they are weak and can't fight back. It's way different for a guy then a girl to come out and explain their situation.

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    2. Thank you Endrit. I see what you are trying to say and I agree with you. Only if the media would stop telling us that all men are strong and women are weak. Everyone is different in their own way.

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  5. I agree, the fact that media has brought the attention to the public in believing that all men are strong and fearless as opposed being frail and timid. In truth, men also feel the same pain as women, just because they are of a different gender, does not mean they have different traits. I believe this idea was brought about from the vast amount of domestic violence by men in the past, which leads us all to believe that men can endure facing abuse by women because they are weak and harmless.

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  6. I agree with the message that this article is trying to convey. To answer the first question, i would like to say that everyone in this conversation who has said that media has embedded into our minds that men are powerful and manly, there are right. We don't really hear about incidences where men are raped and where they get sexually abused and because of that we make sex jokes. We do laugh at things like these because they are the due to the dominant discourse of today's society. If it is the other way around, for suppose if women get raped, it is a big deal in today's society because women are perceived as weak, harmless and most of the times innocent. To address the second question, i would like to include that society is at fault here because it is stereotypical.

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  7. To agree with practically what everyone else who have commented on this post, I feel that based on the amount of cases being reported and how media portrays this issue, the roles that men and women are "suppose" to have, it is considered hilarious when a man gets abused by a women. How they are not manly enough, or too weak as they let a women overpower them. This is basically based on the fact how different media texts keep it in our minds that a man should always be on top of the women. It's even evident in some cultures as well. To agree with Bilal it is due to dominant discourse and what we see as the norm. Society is somewhat at fault because at the end of the day it is an individual's decision to either accept what the media is sticking in their face or not to accept it. And with this,it seems like society is accepting it and not really going up against it.

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  8. I agree with Kent and Chelsey since they both mention how men have been seen rulers and a stronger sex. Therefore if a woman was abusing a man, it is considered that the man can not defend for himself since men being stronger than woman has become a dominant discourse. To answer the second question, I do believe that it is societies fault since they always encounter these types of scenarios when watching TV. For example, if a individual see's a woman abusing a man, people will find that funny, however if it was the opposite, people would consider that assault. In today's society we do make a big deal about how genders are being treated since media portray's all the information. As Maryam mention it is an individuals decision to either accept what the media is sticking in their face or not to accept it. I personally agree with this since we make our own decisions and we must realize what we agree and disagree with.

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  9. Haha, that video was pretty funny! Well first off, the dominant discourse tends to be men being masculine, powerful, aggressive protectors, while women are fragile, soft and feeble. When you view a women, in that perspective, it's expected and pitied when she is attacked. When a man is view in the stereotypical perspective, it's laughed at because according to society's bogus rules, they are not supposed to get hurt, physically or emotionally. I'd say both society and whoever perpetuates these stereotypes. It's the media that sends these messages out but it is our fault for not thinking for ourselves and questioning and rejecting all these negative and false standards. I'd do what any real man would do, run to my mommy!

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  10. Well the norm has always been that men are the dominant ones and hence the abusers. I think if a man does get abused by a woman, it is less likely to be reported because it breaks the norm and makes the man seem weak in the eyes of society. I do believe that society is at fault because even onto this day, men are still being portrayed as the dominant one while women are the submissive ones.

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  11. Men do get abused by women, it is more common than you might think but i think this is society's fault. Men have always been the dominant gender, armies are composed of a majority of men while women have always been seen inferior to men. This dominant discourse for men is one of the oldest and it is also the least true. If i was physically abused by a woman i would not report it because my friends will laugh at me. Its just how society functions, men have been and still are dominant which has its benefits but there are expectations each man has to live with.

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  12. The simple definition of man is the male gender, but society has changed the word “man” to be much more then just male. In todays terms, “man” means to be strong and willful and to be dominant, which is why men are generally the dominant gender, because they have been the dominant gender for so long that now even the definition of their name means dominant. Men have been the one to be leaders, the role of king is much superior than the queen. Men are also perceived to be much more stronger then women physically, which is why often abuse on men is overlooked. This is the reason why society laughs at a man who is abused, because according to them he is not lived up to the definition of his name. Due to women being the regressed gender for so long, we consider it a much bigger deal if they get abused rather then men. Its just like if a Black person gets violated racially, it is perceived to be a bigger deal then if a White Person would be violated, due to the black race having been dominated for the last couple centuries. Since the beginning, men have felt stronger and they want to feel superior. Women have added on to this need by often acting out a “damsel in stress”, which has continued to make the male species feel stronger, because they helped out a “poor little weak” woman, who could not save herself. This is why society is entirely at fault, because they have let such a thing happen. And to now change the outlook of society can possibly take centuries, since history has a habit of repeating itself as well as passing on its ancient beliefs.

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